Comb your Fucking Hair

Comb your Fucking Hair

Dear Mr Trump

We have watched your outbursts on twitter and youtube with some amusement

But first things first. You need to comb your hair.

Just because you rather serendipitously managed to acquire and then destroy a pristine stretch of highland coastline to build some two bit golf course against the wishes of the local population does not mean you can delegate the task to the winds blowing from the North Sea

You look like a human brillo pad. Only the Mayor of London got there first. And he’s more intelligent. And likeable.

Because. Mr Trump. If you’re going to attempt to emotionally blackmail the President of the United States into giving you his school reports, so you can snigger at how bad at poetry he was age 14, by dangling 5 million dollars above the heads of those literally trying to keep them above water  in what could be the worst storm to hit the east coast of the continental United States in a century. It might be an idea to look presentable.

Its alright we’ll wait.

Do you look less like a mop now? Good. Let’s continue.

Back to that 5 million dollar question.

You’ve said that the storm is quote ‘good luck for Obama again’ unquote

I fail to see how it is good news for the President. I may be a Brit and emotionally lacking, but I don’t think Obama views the deaths of seventeen of your fellow citizens, 20 billion dollars worth of damage to some of the most important cities on earth and power going out for tens of millions of people and the main hospitals in New York as good luck.

I mean, call me old fashioned, but I don’t think Noah saw the great flood as ‘good news’

The boxing day tsunami wasn’t viewed as a late Christmas present by the people living in the Indian Ocean

The damage inflicted by Hurricane Sandy, the life’s lost and put on hold in Manhattan, New Jersey, and Washington, the carnage wrought from Cuba to Canada is no joke, and its far more important than your sad little game.

Its not good news. It’s a disaster. One which you have the power to assist in relieving.

You have a go at the federal government for spending money to help people who spent last night cold, in the dark and fearful of the rising flood waters.

Yet you have 5 million dollars  in ready money to help these people

And you are withholding it so you can try and find out if Obama was any good in gym class.

Obama’s not perfect. I’m worried about his targeted drone assassinations. I’m annoyed he hasn’t closed Guantanamo and like millions of Americans without Jobs I wish he had more success in getting people back to work.

But there is a fundamental difference between Democrats like the President and wannabe Presidents like you on the Republican side.

Common fucking decency.

Bush laughed off his inadequate handling of Hurricane Katrina.

Mitt Romney criticise’s the President for not doing enough whilst arguing in the Republican debates that he would cut Federal Emergency Management Agency Money, saying: “We cannot afford to do those things”

‘those things’ – like assisting your fellow citizens at a time they have lost everything, at a time their loved ones have been injured and killed.

People like you tell me that America is the greatest country in the world. You may be the richest, but your wealth is lacking when it comes to compassion, when it comes to putting the ‘United’ in the United States.

I can’t tell you how much I despise that you are holding out on money which could help your fellow Americans.

Do the right thing. Call off your pathetic little publicity seeking vendetta. Give your money to the Red Cross.

Then comb your hair and Piss off.

*Many Thanks to @tomwilliamsisme for the help and inspiration