This is not a sinking ship

Another year has arrived and it’s the first day back at school for politicos. Right across the village  everyone is sporting a new suit and a look which could kill a bunny rabbit if held long enough.

My diary’s been in a bit of a hiatus due to a run in with the whip hand and alcohol intoxication over December (No researcher worth their salt turns up to work sober when there’s Christmas parties every night) still, I’m paying for it and there’s not much work to do at the minute so I might as well tap something up in my lunch hour.

The big news today is the relaunch speech by Miliband the younger. Young Ed had the ingenuity to lever in a reference to Kremlinology during his Question and answer session, which I thought highlighted his Red Ed credentials nicely.

The tedious link also got me thinking. The relaunch was a near abortive 40 minutes late, utilised out of date concepts and was rather tired, not unlike a Russian Soyuz rocket, which, incidentally, everyone is pinning their hopes on as a stop gap measure until something newer, brighter, shinier and more likely to deliver its payload into government comes along.

The 40 minute delay wasn’t helped by the incredibly poor management of the event. Incredulous hacks tweeted about the lack of Bacon Butties and pondered if they were kept waiting long enough they might get some lunch. This led to general hilarity come the question and answer stage of proceedings as irate hacks asked irate questions of an increasingly irate Miliband.

It looked great if you were a coalition spinner but I wouldn’t expect too many sympathetic op-eds in the morning.

Then there was the venue. The podium was out of place. Ed looked awkward as usual and the backdrop was a boat which seemed to be trying to make up its mind whether the metaphor should be a sinking ship or one which has just sailed. Mandelson will be turning in his coffin when he wakes up tonight.

The speech wasn’t up to much either. Miliband moaned about how awful it was that when he got into power he would inherit a deficit. The paradox claxons went off across London and the irony police scrambled to the incident but Ed seemed non plussed. They decided not to press charges, however, on the basis that the thought of Ed ever being in government again was considered a paranoid delusion and they let him off.

Still it appears that Ed Miliband has fumbled his way toward reality on one level. He finally admits that the government ran out of money. Of course it wasn’t Labours fault. Just like Obama has to deal with a deficit which was’nt caused by George Bushes overspending so the UK coalition has to deal with a deficit which wasn’t caused by Labours overspending. Obviously…

Meanwhile. In Westminster, according to Eye Spy MP, David Miliband was pressing the flesh in Portcullis house, buying Labour MPs coffee and weathering the implosion of his brothers leadership. Theres been rumours of his manouvers for the past week now don’t expect him to idle much longer…

Ed is the UKs most unpopular party leader. His MPs mock him in the Daily Mail and the tea rooms and his 6th relaunch in 12 months wasn’t exactly gravity defying. He is a boon to the government; I hope we can hang on to him as long as possible before his party knife him.